Building My House

As I was cleaning in the kitchen a couple of weeks ago, my oldest daughter rushed in the door announcing a black widow had crawled out from under a chair in which she had been sitting. Lovingly known as our “Happy Place,” a little nook sits outside of our back door, waiting to welcome weary family members. Twinkle lights dangle above a cushioned bench and two pillowed chairs my husband made for me several years ago. This spot has been the host of many conversations between me and my kids and/or husband, has served as my meeting place with the Lord most mornings, and has offered a change of scenery for schoolwork when we have been inside too long.

A wood spider would have drawn no reaction from me. We are quite accustomed to a wide variety of arachnids, mosquitos, flies, ants, wasps, beetles, bees, and many more. However, though we have seen black widows on the rare occasion, they still strike terror in our hearts. At this moment I was regretting all the complaints I had made in prior years about the common nuisances. I longed to ignore this problem, yet I knew my children would be at risk if I did. Jerking the cushions off the wooden chairs and benches, I examined every square inch. Two black widows and their egg sacs were living as comfortably as we had in that once peaceful place. I launched an awkward, yet successful, attack with bug spray and a popsicle stick I found lying on the ground. As I sprayed all surfaces, a baby black widow hurriedly crawled away. He didn’t make it.

This picture offers a glimpse of life in general. Setbacks and inconveniences are a part of everyday while we are on this earth. Yet a time arrives when the nuisances become all-out threats to our very lives and to the lives of those we love. Almost every aspect of our family has been invaded in the past couple years. As the months race by, the physical and spiritual threats have increased in number and intensity. Attempting to control these dangers, I have absolutely exhausted myself. Reading my Bible, praying, and following the Lord have been great comforts and help for me; however, I have continued to try to hold on to some power or influence over my life. After all, if I have a relationship with the Lord and do my best to seek after Him, am I not assured health, wealth, and success in my home and relationships? I know it sounds ridiculous. Multiple verses exist about the difficulties of the Christian life. Yet something in me still holds onto the hope that one day on this earth all will get easier. But what if the opposite is true? What if each year brings a greater threat? Could it be that the Lord is wanting me to become as a little child, simply looking to Him for each day’s supply and following wherever He may lead me? I am learning just how powerless I am. Any good thing in my life is from Him alone and not from anything I have or have not done. Oh, may the Lord bring me to a place of having the faith to trust Him with every detail of my life and with the lives of those I love.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.

Psalm 121

Father, Thank You for keeping and upholding me and my family. You alone sustain me, never sleeping, never failing. Please forgive me for doubting You and relying on my own resources when Your unmatched power is offered. Please direct me to You each time trials and temptations threaten to overwhelm me. Remind me of all the times You have been my great help and strengthen me to fight each battle. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

“Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:1-4

Have I received any consolation from Christ? Any comfort of love from Him? Any fellowship, affection, and mercy? A hearty “YES!” resounds. No good thing has He withheld from me as I have blundered my way through this life, attempting to follow Him. Holding my breath after each mistake I have made or sin I have committed, forgiveness and tender mercy have awaited me without fail. I have not been judged or punished according to the measure I deserve. I have not been shunned, laughed at, or ridiculed by Him.

Thus, after reading these verses, the following question begs an answer: Have I offered the same to those around me? Lord, help me!

As I am often lost in a multitude of words, I looked up many definitions in this passage, which helped me to pinpoint exactly what I have received from God and what I am expected to bestow on others.

I have received consolation (comfort received after a loss or disappointment) and comfort (physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint). I would like to say I have readily given these back to others, but the truth is that I have often been too self-absorbed to sense the disappointments and pains of those around me. My burdens and everyday tasks have frequently taken precedence and caused me to be insensitive.

I have received fellowship (friendly association, especially with one who shares one’s interests). It can be quite difficult to experience fellowship, especially with one who seems completely different from me. May I never forget how vastly different I am when compared to my Father in Heaven and yet how He has offered deep fellowship to me!

I have received affection (a gentle feeling of fondness or liking). A few people in my life have been incredible examples of this, making everyone in their lives feel they are uniquely special to them. I desire this trait immensely but must be more intentional in this area. Oh, may all those around me begin to feel that I am genuinely fond of them!

I have received mercy (compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm). Being included in the family of God is no small miracle for this soul that has fought so hard for her own way! Yet, here I am, inexplicably privileged to be called “child of God!” What would prevent me from lavishing mercy on those around me?

The commands which follow include avoiding selfish ambition (a strong desire to do or to achieve something for the sake of oneself, typically requiring determination and hard work) and vain conceit (having or showing an excessively high opinion of one’s appearance, abilities, or worth). It is impossible to experience deep fellowship or to be sympathetic, affectionate, and merciful while selfishness and pride abound. One who is bent on promoting himself can offer little comfort to a hurting friend, nor can he rejoice when one receives a blessing. Selfish ambition and vain conceit will always lead to jealousy, gossip, and separation. No unity may exist in the presence of rivalry. I recently came across a verse on jealousy and was prompted to search for other passages on this topic. Envy is no light matter!

“Wrath is cruel and anger a torrent,
But who is able to stand before jealousy?” Proverbs 27:4

“For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” James 3:16

How do I rid myself of this selfishness? Abiding in the Lord each day is my only hope. And yet a command still exists as I stay connected to my Father. “In lowliness of mind, let each esteem (respect or admire) others better than himself.” Do I respect others? Do I admire them? Do I see them as better than myself? If so, I will speak kindly of them behind closed doors- even when I do not agree with their every decision. I will give them the benefit of the doubt. I will seek to have them praised rather than myself. I will listen to them, encourage them, cheer for them, cry with them, and pray for them.

A few months ago I completed a book which challenged its readers to find one trait in each person from which to learn something. This seems to go hand in hand with admiring and has aided in shifting my perspective. Honoring others in words and actions does not mean forming alliances and friendships which may harm my character. I must be cautious in placing myself in the way of temptation. I can, however, continue to think and speak honorably about them. Occasionally, one must be warned of another’s conduct for various reasons. As a parent, I must warn my children of danger in the company they keep. Nevertheless, this must be conducted cautiously and without jest or mockery.

In a world that screams “stand up for yourself,” and “look out for number one,” it is no surprise to see mass division. It is also no shock that many prefer isolation at home, claiming their frustration with people in general. But unity is of utmost importance. Jesus prays for the unity of believers in John 17, stating that the rest of the world will be drawn to the Father by seeing the believers’ unity.

“I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.” John 17:20-23

Father, thank You for caring for, comforting, and loving me. You have been merciful and patient with me when I deserved Your wrath and punishment. Please forgive me for my selfishness, pride, and unforgiveness toward others. Make me like You, graciously giving to others what I would like to receive. Enable me to humble myself and promote those around me. Grant me meekness that allows me to be content without recognition. I love You and ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.  And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:5-11