Family. Though for some, this word may conjure up ideas of dysfunction, yelling, and unacceptance, most agree that a “good” family is one with laughing around a table, watching a favorite movie on the couch together in cozy jammies, and comforting each other when upset. These were all the goals I had when beginning my family. I wanted to be the perfect wife and mom who never raised her voice, always unconditionally accepted each family member, and provided copious amounts of good times. I can tell you I failed on all accounts, which has resulted in guilt and frustration at many times.
However, though these things are important, I have realized over time that these goals are not the “be all, end all” of being a wife and mother. In fact, I am convinced the MAJORITY of my role is pushing. When I see one veering off course (away from the straight and narrow way), I am to “push,” in a manner of speaking, that one back on course. One member may turn readily and sharply back on course. (Hooray! An easy victory this time!) Another may curve around the long way but eventually make it back on the path. (Whew! That one required a lot of energy.) Still another may make the appearance of circling back around, but the minute I turn my back to move ahead or help someone else, he/she shifts the opposite direction again. (Help, Lord! I truly have no idea what to do but pray and keep pushing as often as I’m able.)
Now the word “pushing” may bring about the wrong image here. I am not speaking of taking matters into my own hands or nagging and yelling out scripture when someone is doing wrong. By pushing, I am referring to well-timed words of guidance and discipline- as well as much encouragement- when prompted by the Lord. I am labeling it this simply because of the great effort involved. Moments arise when I feel completely exhausted and as if I cannot possibly continue; however, that is the precise moment I beg the Lord for strength, and He graciously gives enough for one more round.This must always be soaked with prayer, and the life I am expecting my family to live out must be first lived out by me to the best of my ability. I will not get everything right, but I must be willing to quickly confess and turn back onto the path when I have begun to veer.
There are times when I fear this pushing process, because I know it may be received with eye rolling or sighing. I have felt guilty so many times, thinking, “Rachel, just let them be. Give them a break. They need to have a little fun once in a while.” The truth is that the “fun” they are seeking has the potential of moving them away from their Father in Heaven- even if ever so slightly. I’ve also questioned whether one is too old to need my direction, until I realized I need it myself once in a while. Though everything in me… and I do mean EVERYTHING… wants to turn around and march forward without them, I hear a small voice saying, “Do not leave them behind.” It would be so much easier to just worry about myself. After all, this chief of sinners is a full- time job in and of myself. But I am not here to lead an easy life. God entrusted me to this position to push the ones I love most as close to God as I possibly can, even if it kills me. (And it might.)
I have experienced moments when it seemed utterly hopeless and pointless to continue pushing. I have been criticized for requiring too much of my family members. I have wondered more times than I can count if it is truly worth the effort. But when I recount all God has done at key moments along this journey, I know the answer. The victories I have witnessed in the individual lives of each family member (no matter how many times they or I have fallen back) are nothing short of miraculous. I have no idea if they will continue moving straight ahead for the rest of their lives. I don’t even know the inside of their hearts right now; but God does. And I trust that all this labor will not be in vain. And I know for a fact that it will not do for me to sit idly by and watch them wander from their Maker.
Father, You and many others know the great irony of this sinner being placed in a position to push others to follow You. But God, I do love You and these people You have given me to nurture. Father, show me any sin in my own heart that I may turn and lead these precious ones. Grant me the strength, stamina, and courage to push them closer to You every single day. Move their hearts to turn from sin the minute they recognize it and follow You whole-heartedly. Thank You for never leaving me to fight on my own. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
“But you, be strong and do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded!” 2 Chronicles 15:7 (I woke up feeling discouraged this morning and truly not wanting to push myself or anyone else in my family today. This verse was in my daily Bible reading.)
“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 15:58
“Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14