“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17 ESV

Goodness. If there was ever a verse for us women, this is it. Many of us want to believe we don’t need the approval and affections of others. We believe we’re tough as nails, too busy to care about that stuff, and sure don’t want to be given that dreaded “high maintenance” label. But if we’re completely honest, deep down within each one of us is a desire to be loved, admired, and treasured. How do I know? It’s in the Bible:

“To the woman he said, ‘I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.'” Genesis 3:16 NIV

So why would God do this? Well, like always, I don’t fully understand His ways, but I do know it wasn’t part of His original plan. Picture Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden before they sinned and before this curse was pronounced. Are you imagining him reaching for her hand, telling her she’s beautiful, and hanging on her every word? Men would imagine a woman that never needed those reassurances and let him go do manly things, I’m sure. Adam and Eve had a perfect relationship- no misunderstanding- just love and thankfulness for each other. Their deepest desires were met by God.

Now picture them as soon as they sinned. All of a sudden, they’re blaming each other for their sin in hopes of escaping punishment. Can you imagine the betrayal Eve felt when she heard Adam throw her under the bus for the first time? It’s a bit like that blissful engagement period coming to an end, and beginning to do real life with the man you just married. It’s tough, but it’s a given. Sin is present within us and around us, and no relationship is immune. Sin has separated us from God, the only One who can fulfill our deepest desires. We try desperately to meet those desires by marriage seminars, vacations, and books, but though these can be very useful tools for damaged marriages, they will never create a perfect and lasting solution. Our desire remains and is never fully recognized.

This desire drives so many of our decisions. Our enemy uses that desire to attack our thoughts. See if these sound familiar: “I’ll be more desirable if I lose weight, get rid of these wrinkles, dress in nicer clothes, tell the funniest jokes, have the best personality,…” Oh, how the list goes on! If we try to be and do all these things, we will fail miserably. So what’s a girl to do?

“Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father’s house. Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.” Psalm 45:10-11 NIV

Focus on honoring the Lord. No matter how you feel or who seems to reject you, know that your King is enthralled by your beauty. He sees every little imperfection, every wrinkle, every dimple, every hair out of place, and yet He’s ENTHRALLED! This is the Commander of all things, Whose very breath can move heaven and earth! This is our great, feared Savior who will one day come riding in on a white horse to conquer all that torments and enslaves us for all eternity! He’s already given His very life for us, suffering in every possible way to rescue us from the sin we chose. What more could we ask? We are loved. We are desired. We are chosen over and over again.

Let us choose to rest in that knowledge as we love others- especially our husbands. I pray each of you see yourselves as your Father sees you. And if this doesn’t seem appealing or very significant, then I pray you grow closer to our personal God and get to know Him in such a way that this thought deeply satisfies you.

Oh Lord, You know the deepest desires within me. Forgive me for trying to satisfy my longings with everything but You. Grow me closer to You each day and allow me to know You more. Thank You for Your steadfast love that never fails. Thank You for seeing my imperfections, my wrong thoughts, and my secrets, and yet loving me more than I can comprehend. How You can rejoice over me is beyond my understanding! May this knowledge quiet my heart. Allow me to love my husband the way You do. May I not fail to lift him up to You in prayer each day. I love You, Lord. Amen.

Memorize this verse so that when the enemy attacks your thoughts and tries to deceive, you have a battle plan!

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17