“With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!” Psalm 119:10
Psalm 119 is a chapter from which I find myself praying verses quite often. I love this Psalm. In verse 10, I can relate to the author as he cries out (as judged by the exclamation mark) for God to keep him from wandering away from the Biblical commandments. Though I long with everything in me to stay in right relationship with my Father, I often look up and realize I am heading my own direction. The scariest part is that I hadn’t even realized I had ever taken my eyes off the Lord. It happens so quickly and subtly. Here is how I have found it to play out in my life: I continue in my daily Bible reading, say a prayer to the Lord, and go through my day as usual. A new event in my life catches my attention, and I begin pouring more time into it. One recent venture was planning a new decor theme in my house. I was excited to make my house cozier for my family- a noble pursuit. However, before I realized what was happening, my thoughts were consumed with new ideas and purchases. All of my spare time went to Amazon browsing and Pinterest searches. “Can I afford these four throw pillows and a new blanket? No, I should just get two. If I do that, I can buy this wreath! Ooh, but I need some greenery in this space. Let me see if I can find something cheap online really quickly.” All of this planning and searching happens between cooking, cleaning, teaching, and tending to my daily duties. To an outsider (and maybe even to my family), all looks well. But a change has taken place in my heart. My focus has shifted from the Lord and His way to pleasing myself and doing what I think is best.
Now, I do not believe decorating or being excited about purchasing items for my house is a sin. In fact, I believe the Lord created something in us as women to desire a beautiful place for our family in which to rest and enjoy each other’s company. However, there is a line I find that I cross sometimes. I know I’ve crossed it when Bible reading and prayer begin to seem like rote chores that I must complete in order to get to the other “better” stuff in life. Yikes! It’s scary even writing this down and admitting it. Yet, I know I am not fooling the Lord. He sees it all anyway. Other threats to my relationship with the Lord have included vacation planning, sports, homesteading, education, clothes, Christmas shopping, and work. I picture these pursuits as detours or avenues that lead off of the highway to the Lord.
“A highway shall be there, and a road,
And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness.
The unclean shall not pass over it,
But it shall be for others.
Whoever walks the road, although a fool,
Shall not go astray.” Isaiah 35:8
My prayer is that as soon as I take that exit and start heading down the feeder road, God will awaken me to see I am about to turn the wrong direction, and will prompt me to get back onto the highway. Sure, these roads down which I am tempted to turn may look beautiful- full trees covered with autumn-colored leaves, set against the backdrop of a perfectly shaded blue sky. However, these roads lead to dead ends and are covered with nails, debris, and dangers which are not visible to the untrained eye.
My family and I have some woods by our house in which we walk. There is a main path that leads around a pond, but there are also a few trails leading off of this path. We always called one of these trails “The Enchanted Forest” because of how beautiful it looked. One day, the kids and I decided to venture down this section of woods. It was absolutely gorgeous for about 50 feet. The enchantment came to an abrupt halt when we found ourselves walking between dead trees and broken limbs. The smell changed just as quickly. Stale water lay between the brown, limp trees, attracting mosquitoes and other pests. As far down as we could see, all was dead. Needless to say, we quickly turned and headed back to the main path with which we were familiar.
How can something as innocent as decorating a house become a road leading to destruction? Matthew 6:21 states, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” I must constantly analyze where my affections lie so that I may not find myself in the same situation as the Israelites- setting “stuff” above the Lord. These pursuits become false gods and are nothing less than idol worship. How can I ensure that I stay on the highway and not be led astray unaware?
“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,
‘This is the way, walk in it,’
Whenever you turn to the right hand
Or whenever you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:21
I have not been left without guidance. The Lord is my Good Shepherd who longs to lead me; yet, I must be sensitive to His voice and ready and willing to follow Him as soon as I sense His prompting. Confession and repentance (tuning back) must be made as soon as I realize I am veering the wrong direction.
Father, You are my good, gentle, and patient Shepherd. Thank You for always guiding and protecting me even when I veer away from Your path. Please keep me in obedience to Your commands. When I begin following my own pursuits, show me my error and help me to confess and turn back to Your way immediately. Lord, I don’t want to do anything that may lead my family down the wrong path. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize how far away from You I have traveled. I don’t want to discover that all my efforts at pleasing myself have led to a meaningless, empty life. “Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!” In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.